You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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