Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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