Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
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you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
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My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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