sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm bleeding and have questions
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