I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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