He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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