I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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