i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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