Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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