Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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