If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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