ugly people sure do ruin things
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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