On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have demons in me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize