There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize