I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize