If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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