We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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