Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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