We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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