so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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