So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize