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I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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