you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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