Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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