I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Welp...herpes.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize