Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I believe in your delicious
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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