Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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