No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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