Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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