He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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