accomplished twins. life is a go
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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