Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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