the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize