Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
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