I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize