she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize