he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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