My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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