im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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