laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize