Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize