Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize