why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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