Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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  (424): I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed http://tfl.nu/t74f
  Replies (9) Good night (4846) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

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  (859): just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese.... http://tfl.nu/man3
  Replies (41) Good night (4838) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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  (910): He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts. http://tfl.nu/0rlv
  Replies (22) Good night (3114) Bad night (1503) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life

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  (604): omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life http://tfl.nu/up0q
  Replies (10) Good night (3144) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.

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  (503): Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve. http://tfl.nu/pov9
  Replies (21) Good night (4810) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

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  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (6910) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.

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  (630): I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted. http://tfl.nu/87dj
  Replies (84) Good night (7859) Bad night (1321) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

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  (650): I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/l4fs
  Replies (46) Good night (9296) Bad night (1882) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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  (703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc
  Replies (19) Good night (5943) Bad night (1222) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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  (519): mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing http://tfl.nu/5ec7
  Replies (7) Good night (3828) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?

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  (779): should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark? http://tfl.nu/0hyg
  Replies (8) Good night (3497) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..

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  (914): something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined.. http://tfl.nu/wloj
  Replies (13) Good night (696) Bad night (4843) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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  (703): I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform. http://tfl.nu/4ptq
  Replies (8) Good night (3353) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"

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  (778): I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie" http://tfl.nu/vq1n
  Replies (17) Good night (1906) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt

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