Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub.  I was in it.

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  (231): Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub.  I was in it. http://tfl.nu/n970
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"

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  (908): My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger" http://tfl.nu/twr9
  Replies (17) Good night (3370) Bad night (783)
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  (707): View more from California

  you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!

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  (707): you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?! http://tfl.nu/ug5x
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  (207): View more from Maine

  winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.

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  (207): winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer. http://tfl.nu/n491
  Replies (8) Good night (2646) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.

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  (607): he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/mpyr
  Replies (21) Good night (918) Bad night (3929) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme

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  (647): btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme http://tfl.nu/51hh
  Replies (10) Good night (3801) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.

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  (403): we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now. http://tfl.nu/goi4
  Replies (16) Good night (5597) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.

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  (409): There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard. http://tfl.nu/fxyx
  Replies (9) Good night (4714) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night

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  (772): it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night http://tfl.nu/3jc9
  Replies (13) Good night (2308) Bad night (1735) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.

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  (208): Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/191q
  Replies (18) Good night (709) Bad night (5264) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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  (514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn
  Replies (7) Good night (1312) Bad night (2168) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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  (217): I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it. http://tfl.nu/a4xo
  Replies (9) Good night (898) Bad night (1724) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.

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  (254): That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it. http://tfl.nu/3la0
  Replies (10) Good night (1431) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..

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  (319): You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer.. http://tfl.nu/i9am
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing

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  (214): when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing http://tfl.nu/yb6j
  Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt

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