I hate all girls vehemently.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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