this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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