He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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