Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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