I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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